April

I carry a heart that feels the weight of the room

I’ve walked through the valleys, I’ve sat in the gloom

I watched my mama struggle, and I’ve fought my own fire

Pulled my own boots from the mud and the mire

I try not to judge 'cause I know I'm not perfect

Made choices without faith, wondering if it was worth it

But God always brought me to the other side

With a little more grace and a little less pride

'Cause I love big and I love so hard

I’ve got a few bruises and a couple of scars

I might not be where I thought I should be

But thank God I’m not where I used to be

I fought Him tooth and nail along the way

But He never gave up on April, not for a day

I just pray for the courage to finally see

Myself the way that He looks at me

I count my best blessings in the shape of four kids

Even when life didn't go like I wished it did

Two I didn't raise, but we found our way back

Mending the pieces that fell through the cracks

Now there are grandbabies running around

The sweetest of laughter, a beautiful sound

They don’t know the shadows or the tears I’ve cried

They just know their Nana today, right by their side

'Cause I love big and I love so hard

I’ve got a few bruises and a couple of scars

I might not be where I thought I should be

But thank God I’m not where I used to be

I fought Him tooth and nail along the way

But He never gave up on April, not for a day

I just pray for the courage to finally see

Myself the way that He looks at me

Some days are better, some days I still break

I pray for an awakening, whatever it takes

Give me the strength to quiet my mind

To leave all the doubt and the worry behind

To live with this gratitude filling my chest

And trust that the Lord has already blessed

'Cause I love big and I love so hard

I’ve got a few bruises and a couple of scars

I might not be where I thought I should be

But thank God I’m not where I used to be

I fought Him tooth and nail along the way

But He never gave up on me, not for a day

I finally have the courage to stand here and see

Myself the way that He looks at me

Yeah, I'm learning to love what He sees in me